terça-feira, 4 de agosto de 2009

Her name is Depression.

Merry meet again.

I'm about to explain why I haven't been around youtube, I got a depression and it's been killing my mind and body. Depression is a hell of a bitch, belive me...

It all started with the fact that I've felt tired all day, even when I woke up in the morning, after 10hours of quiet sleeping. That was strange, for me, because I used to feel so energetic and active to go to school and work, goin' out with friends and used to be some cheerful.
I was becoming hostil with everyone around me and withdrawing from everyone, friends and family, and whenever someone asked me if I was ok, I lied. I felt I didn't need anyone help and I rather sit in my bed and cry for no reason.

I had difficulty concentrating so I lost interest in school and everything, I've even stop painting and writting, I stop goin' to my driving lessons and goin' out with friends, even for a coffee in the bottom of the street. I've started to eat alot more than usual and specially sweets and chocolates, because they made me feel good and happy for a while, and when I couldn't get any I would feel agitated and I couldn't stay quiet.

I felt worthless and that everyone was my fault, I was a burden in everyone's life. I had no motivation to keep living nor to keep fighting.

I've started thinkin' about suicide.

This week I found out why I was feeling so fuckin' bad. Her name is Depression and I have to get rid her...

This is what happened to me, why I've been gone and so, why I have been so absent.
I'm better now tho I still feel the same way that I did in the beginning and I still think about end all but I can't. I can't because this is not the way I am, I know I'm strong and I'm a wonderful person, I just need help.

If you feel anything the way I did, seek medical help, please.

☽◯☾ Lady Crove

1 comentário:

  1. Mafalda! I hope you start feeling better soon- St. Johns Wort tea has helped me A LOT. I also mix it with a little bit of peppermint tea sometimes for some extra energy. Ive been going through something similar..its helpful to know there are others out there who feel similarly, and most of all that there is hope for a great healthy return. Goddess Bless )O( RhiannonoftheSea