quinta-feira, 24 de junho de 2010


I'm so lost right now. My head hurts and I have tear rolling down my face, all I want to do is dissapear, even tho I now that would leave the ones I love heartbroken. I wish I could just sit back and rest forever, never to wake up, forgiving and forgeting everyone and everything, and that every trace of my soul was lost and recicle in Earth's life string, so no one, ever could remember me.

I wish I could forget about those who smashed me into pieces and put my fear to rest. I can't.

I have this constant feeling that everything I touch or everyone I come across will bring me pain, so I step back and cower in fear, like a little child that got lost into a mall. I've noticed that I've became afraid of people and crowded places, I can't go to a festival without feeling panic and a need to run and hide somewhere. I can't stand when people look at me and say my name, specially my name. I have to talk to strangers, or even to be the center of attention. I can't stand too much people, it scares me shitless.

I should get help, this phobia and depressive states are gettin' worst and I'm worried about my parents, their desperate. I stated to think about suicide again, every conversation I have, everything sounds to me as an insult or like someone is trying to step on me and hurt me, mock me or even abuse me.

I can't sleep, I barely eat and I don't know what to do. I thought about goin' back to school but I can't, I know i'm not gonna make it, I don't know that to do.

I'm not even making sense.

1 comentário:

  1. Go see a psychologist or psychiatrist NOW. Do not pass go, do not get $100.

    Nothing can help except a professional--trust me, I've been there and got the T-shirt.

    It may seem scary, but you can do it!